It is often said that pride comes before a fall and a short time ago I learnt that truth the hard way! Whilst on a church outing to a seaside resort I observed an incident, and made the comment to my wife that sometimes we need to be assertive in hanging on to our self esteem. It’s something I’ve had to work on, so perhaps I was being a little self righteous.
A little further down the pier I noted a stand that was selling ice cream. Ahhh! It was a long time since I had eaten an ice cream out of doors and I remembered the advice given by a lifestyle guru to occasionally spoil yourself and do something that you like. Have you ever taken the advice of a lifestyle writer and find that you have bitten off more than you can chew? I asked for two scoops and the vendor piled them up, on top of a small cone. Delicious! The weather was warm and there was quite a strong wind and the ice cream started to melt faster than I could eat it. It started running down my arm, and however furiously I licked, I could not stop the trickle! Down it dripped onto my sleeve, and all around me on the pier decking. Eventually I was getting so sticky that I had no choice but to throw the rest in the sea - not something I would do lightly!
I started trying to mop up the mess on my coat but its amazing how far an ice cream can go! As I took my coat off to wipe up the mess I said to my wife, “Thank goodness there is nobody seeing this that knows me!”
Just a minute what is going on here? Why did I say that? Surely I was afraid of what they might think and that would knock my self esteem. What was that I had said earlier about the need to be assertive in hanging on to one’s self esteem in every circumstance? One of the things I have discovered is that it is easier to give advice than to take it!
We live in a culture where we are are expected to perform well and to put across the perfect image. At work we have to be seen to be efficient and we live in a society where appearances are everything. We judge politicians by how well they ‘perform’, rather than what they believe, or how effective they are. In our media-orientated society we emphasize image over content. Even as children we are conditioned to be correct and perfect in all that we do. We must pass exams as well as perform well in sport and music to be the popular star pupil.
The truth is that we all find it very hard to admit weakness or failure. We cannot be seen to be less than perfect. However, most entrepreneurs and innovators claim that they have only achieved what they are famous for on the back of many failures. Many millionaires have lost their money more than once before they were able to get truly rich. Thomas Edison, after so many failed attempts to produce an effective light bulb is quoted as saying, “I have not failed 1,000 times, I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb." Success in life is not the product of being always right but rather of making mistakes and learning from them. Making mistakes is part of the learning process and sometimes we learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes.
Often we need to ask who it is we are trying to impress. Are we more concerned about what other people think than about being true to ourselves? Let's face it most of the time the people around wouldn't care a jot. They probably wouldn't think any less of me for having ice cream all over my coat! At the end of the day it is what we think about ourselves that counts and not what other people think of us. That is where our self-esteem lies.
Remind yourself that you have been made in the image of God and that the person you are is a person who God has created. He loves you just the way you are. Do you?